Natalie Portman on coming down from life’s highs
Stars of latest area drama “Lucy within the Sky,” Natalie Portman and Jon Hamm, talk about the parallels between being an astronaut and being an actor on location. (Oct. 3)
Once I graduated from highschool a bit of over a month in the past, I stumbled right into a profound loneliness that I don’t assume I’ve ever skilled earlier than in my life. Even after I was with different folks, whether or not at post-grad bonfires or our senior promenade, I felt utterly secluded from every thing that was occurring round me.
After 4 years of exhausting work and sleepless nights, my highschool profession had reached its fruits, and in a matter of minutes, it was throughout.
Delivering the salutatorian speech at my college’s commencement ceremony, getting my diploma, and celebrating with my buddies are all tangible moments that I’ll always remember. However after I bought dwelling later that night time, and the pure excessive pale off, I didn’t know what to do with myself for the primary time in a very long time.
Possibly I ought to’ve braced myself for the tip higher.
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There was a film that got here out just a few years again known as “Lucy within the Sky,” wherein Natalie Portman performs an astronaut struggling to readjust to life on Earth after her first area mission.
Though there’s not a lot to jot down dwelling about with regard to this movie, there’s a scene that has caught with me since I first watched it: At a bowling alley together with her colleagues, Portman’s character laments about how one of many first issues she did after splashing right down to Earth was exit to eat at an Applebee’s restaurant. After being in area and seeing the stretches of the universe specified by entrance of you, Portman posits, what was the purpose of performing such mundane duties like going to Applebee’s?
I couldn’t assist however consider this scene whereas I used to be sitting at an Applebee’s someplace in New Jersey final month. This was simply three days after I graduated, and to not say that graduating was something like touring to area, however shifting from a momentous event in my life to such an odd circumstance inflicted fairly a little bit of whiplash on my emotional well-being on the time.
Certain, I used to be bodily there with my buddies, however my head and coronary heart weren’t even remotely in that restaurant, not to mention the state of New Jersey.
I needed to be current in that second, however for no matter cause, the lonely feeling I had shortly develop into accustomed to crept again in with ease. After that night time, I spotted somewhat shortly that I wanted to discover a method to floor myself and acquire some sense of normalcy, so I figured it is perhaps the correct time to fall again on an previous vice of mine.
Seeing a film solo is therapeutic
I used to have a sacred ritual that I carried out virtually each weekend, one thing I may at all times look ahead to on the finish of a aggravating week. This wasn’t something too out of the odd, but it surely was a easy diversion that I may depend on time and time once more.
I might go to my native AMC within the early afternoon, flip off my telephone, and see a movie or two on my own. For no less than two hours, nobody may attain me, and I used to be utterly absorbed by what was being projected onto the display.
It didn’t actually matter what I used to be seeing, and belief me, I noticed a ton of forgettable films by means of this course of, however the therapeutic solitude that got here from this exercise was greater than well worth the worth of admission. Doing this was a innocent method to escape from actuality for a brief time frame, and I loved having this one factor for myself. After which I didn’t have it anymore.
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I didn’t go to the cinema for an entire yr, so the solace I gained from going to the flicks on my own was now not a viable choice for a substantial stretch of time.
I went from seeing 47 films in theaters in 2019 (a deeply embarrassing quantity) to seeing simply 5 films in 2020 earlier than theaters shuttered indefinitely. Even after I used to be capable of get vaccinated in Might, returning to a movie show was nonetheless one thing that gave me pause, however my deeply entrenched want to take action finally outweighed any trepidation I had.
Due to this fact, feeling abysmally remoted and having no higher method to spend the start of my summer time, I made a decision to dive again into my previous routine of going to the flicks on my own this previous month.
Initially, I wasn’t certain if submerging myself in such a distant recreation was the very best concept, however after per week or two of persistent attendance, I’m happy to say that partaking on this sacred ritual has actually introduced me again right down to Earth once more.
My solo journeys to the flicks weren’t a right away repair to how I used to be feeling on the time, however as time strikes ahead, they’ve positively helped me address this somewhat turbulent interval in my life.
I’m nonetheless studying the right way to let go of a number of the loneliness, and it hasn’t been straightforward, however I’m hoping that being extra clear about how I’m actually doing is a step in the correct course.
I’ve a lot to look ahead to within the close to future (similar to leaving my hometown and attending school a number of states away, however we will discuss extra about that one later), so if a little bit of loneliness and mundanity is the worth I’ve to pay this summer time, I would as nicely attempt to take that on by doing one thing I really like.
As destiny would have it, I discovered myself in yet one more Applebee’s final week. I don’t know the way or why I hold ending up at these institutions, however one thing about this expertise was completely different than the one I had a month in the past.
It was a good looking day outdoors, I used to be with two of my finest buddies, and as we sat in a sales space and talked, I may inform that I used to be there in that second. Actually there. I used to be glad, which is greater than I may say only a few weeks prior.
Whether or not it’s in a movie show on my own or a series restaurant, I’ve been getting higher at discovering contentment once more, and I believe that’s all I can actually hope for proper now.
Josh Rosenthal is a graduate of Harry S. Truman Excessive College. He shall be attending Boston Faculty within the fall.