Henri Hassan McTaggart Omelette – HumorOutcasts.com


American Breakfast



¼ onion
¼ cup contemporary cilantro
½ crimson bell pepper
½ celery stalk
½ tablespoon sesame oil
½ tablespoon peanut oil
½ tablespoon more virgin olive oil
4 oz. floor turkey
¼ cup gentle yellow pepper rings
¼ teaspoon parsley
¼ teaspoon coriander
⅛ teaspoon thyme
⅛ cayenne
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon bacon bits
¼ cup heavy whipping cream
¼ cup salsa
½ cup 5 Italian cheeses
12 eggs (wow!)
no-stick cooking spray

Makes 4 three-egg omelettes


No-stick cooking pan


Cube onion, cilantro, crimson bell pepper (Will a bull fee a crimson bell pepper?), and celery. In blending bowl, mix eggs with a whisk. Pour the mixed eggs right into a measuring cup. It will have to make about 2 cups.

Upload sesame oil, peanut oil, and olive oil to common frying pan. Flip warmth to medium. You will have to see little bubbles within the oil when it’s sizzling sufficient. You’ll be able to additionally drop a morsel of meat or onion within the pan. When the morsel begins to cook dinner or transfer, the oil is able.

Upload floor turkey, onion, cilantro, celery, crimson bell pepper, yellow pepper rings, parsley, coriander, thyme, cayenne, cumin, and bacon bits. Stir every so often. Prepare dinner at medium-high warmth till turkey adjustments colour. Upload heavy whipping cream, salsa, and 5 Italian cheeses. Prepare dinner and stir till the cream is totally mixed into the combo.

Spray a no-stick pan with a no-stick cooking spray. You wish to have the entire no-stick assist you’ll get when making a real omelette. Virtuous residing additionally is helping.

(Preferably you wish to have no friction in any respect so that you can get the spatula below the eggs and not using a downside. After all, with out friction you couldn’t dangle a spatula, flip a doorknob, or stroll with out falling down.)

The next steps make one omelette. Repeat them to make 4 omelettes.

Flip warmth to medium-high. Pour about ¼th of the mixed eggs, or ½ cup, in to the no-stick frying pan.

Shake the pan gently so the eggs calmly duvet the pan’s complete floor or makes an egg disc. Put lid on most sensible to make it cook dinner quicker. Carry the lid each and every 15 seconds to peer how the eggs are cooking. When the eggs are accomplished for your desired firmness, upload the turkey/vegetable combine.

Upload ¼ of the pepper/spice/whipping cream/cheeses combine or sufficient to hide about ½ of the spatula. Put the combo within the middle/left of the cooked eggs disc. Gently paintings the spatula below the left of the egg disc and sparsely fold the eggs over the combo. Repeat the fold.

Now, you may have one thing coming near an actual omelette, no longer that flipped over, half-mooned formed egg factor maximum eating places as of late name omelette. After getting gotten some apply, check out folding within the most sensible and backside of the egg disc a tad ahead of rolling it over. A smartly made omelette is not just tasty, however a factor of good looks.


1) No longer many of us know that right through the nice Civil Conflict between the North and South {that a} French/Arab/Scot by way of the identify of Henri Hassan McTaggart terrorized the great people of Poway, California together with his kilted band of desperadoes, Los Biente Bagpipes.

2) No farm, no stagecoach or gold cargo passing via Poway’s fertile valleys used to be secure from those marauders.

3) Los Biente Tam O’ Shanters at all times attacked upwind, volley after volley of cat-screeching sounds from their bagpipes. If for some explanation why that didn’t paintings they’d don their berets and fee, pistols blazing.

4) It took an entire department of infantry in 1865 to seize Los Biente Tam O’ Shanters. Even so, 3 were given away.

5) Justice prevailed as Powegian courts sentenced the outlaws to hold after the trial.

6) As befitted Powegian custom, Sheriff Harry Albondigas requested McTaggart what he needed for his remaining meal.

7) McTaggart requested for: onion, cilantro, crimson bell pepper, celery, peanut oil, sesame oil, extra-virgin olive oil, floor turkey, yellow pepper rings, parsley, coriander, thyme, cayenne, cumin, bacon bits, heavy whipping cream, salsa, 5 Italian cheeses, eggs, and no stick spray.

8) By the point the Powegian sheriff assembled those elements the remainder Tam O’ Shanters sprung McTaggart from prison.

9) Poway has been the culinary capital of French/Arab/Scottish fusion delicacies ever since. Foosh!

10) Or so other people say.


– Paul De Lancey, The Comedian Chef, Ph.D.


Take a look at my newest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic mystery, Do Lutheran Hunks Consume Mushrooms? It’s printed by way of HumorOutcasts and is to be had in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com



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