Caught in an Unending Tech Give a boost to Loop – HumorOutcasts.com

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[The following is a true story, with no exaggeration, of the time I spent over five hours trying to get help from a tech support representative. – TEJ] 

I had finished what I was hoping was once my ultimate draft of my latest humor guide, THE SECRET TO SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS. I used to be the use of Amazon’s publishing department referred to as Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP). I had compiled an inventory of inquiries to which I wanted solutions as a way to repair a number of guide formatting problems their on-line machine had flagged.

I determined I had to name their tech fortify staff for assist. I situated their CONTACT US web page in not up to 12 mins just by navigating via an unending sequence of menus that required me to respond to a number of sequence of questions till the website online after all unlocked the name of the game passageway to its elusive CONTACT US web page.

This web page presented me a number of choices: I may just publish an electronic mail (“please permit 72 hours for a reaction”). I may just start up an internet chat (almost certainly with a internet bot). I may just pour via their voluminous on-line neighborhood discussion board containing ratings of article hyperlinks, none of which might be without delay on level. Or I may just request a decision again from a tech fortify agent. I believe I’ll move with Possibility D.

I clicked the button to have a tech fortify agent name me. Twenty mins later my telephone rang. The readout indicated the decision was once from Amazon / KDP. Oddly, it handiest rang as soon as after which the decision dropped. I attempted to name again the quantity on my telephone, however I reached an automatic message: “We’re no longer in a position to simply accept incoming calls to this quantity. Please talk over with our website online to request a decision again.” 

I then navigated the maze again to the CONTACT US web page. I clicked at the button to request a decision again – once more. That brought on this message: “Our information point out that you’ve got already asked a decision again. Please wait till you obtain that decision.” Arrgh!

I waited thirty mins. No good fortune. I clicked at the “Name me” button once more. Up popped the similar notification as sooner than. Feeling stymied, I attempted their on-line CHAT to request a telephone name. Inside of a minute Agent Adrian generically typed, “How can I allow you to?”

I defined that I had asked a decision, then the decision dropped after one ring and the machine would no longer permit me to make some other name request. “May just you simply inform any individual to your tech fortify division to name me?” I pleaded.

Agent Adrian typed again, “I’m sorry however this CHAT characteristic does no longer permit us to speak via telephone with the buyer.”

“I do know that,” I wrote again, annoyed. “I am getting how on-line chat works.” I pounded away on the keyboard, making an attempt once more to provide an explanation for my catch 22 situation and that I simply sought after to have any individual from their tech staff name me.

Then, like a damaged document, Agent Adrian, who via now I used to be quite sure was once a bot, typed, “I’m sorry however this CHAT characteristic does no longer permit us to name the buyer.” As a substitute he / it presented to assist me by means of their web-based chat application. I wrote again that I had actually 20 questions and I doubted he / it might be capable to reply to they all by means of chat. However he / it insisted that they have been glad to be of carrier.

I copied and pasted my lengthy record of questions into the chat message box and pressed SEND. Seven mins later, the Agent Adrian bot resurfaced: “I’m sorry, however it is very important communicate to a member of our tech fortify staff. You’ll be able to request a decision again via visiting our website online. Thanks.” He / it then hastily closed out our consultation. WTF??

I then spotted that all the way through the time I used to be bonding with the Agent Adrian bot, I had gained an electronic mail from KDP tech fortify:

“That is Jennifer from KDP buyer fortify. You had asked a decision, however I referred to as and there was once no resolution. If you want to talk with a consultant, you’ll talk over with our website online to request a decision again.”

Critically? I guessed that sufficient time had elapsed to take an opportunity and take a look at clicking at the “Name me” button once more. I guessed incorrect: “Our information point out that you’ve got already asked a decision again. Please wait till you obtain that decision.

I attempted the use of the web chat app once more. Once I defined my scenario and implored them to have any individual from their tech fortify staff name me without delay, the Agent Paul bot presented this via now very acquainted comments: “I’m sorry however this CHAT characteristic does no longer permit us to speak via telephone with the buyer.” 

The website online referred to this as their Buyer Carrier division. However as I replicate again on my enjoy, I believe “Buyer Severance” division” would were a extra suitable identify. Then the Agent Paul bot, for sure programmed to practice the tech fortify chat protocol manual to the letter, presented to take a look at to assist me by means of Chat. I defined – once more – that I in point of fact had to communicate to a LIVE PERSON BY PHONE!

After all, Agent Paul relented and agreed to take a look at to seek out any individual to name me. I’m beautiful positive Agent Paul was once going to be summarily fired for violating On-line Chat Coverage Rule #1: By no means let the buyer communicate to a are living human being. Or in all probability he’ll simply be rebooted and upgraded to a newer safety protocol. 

An hour went via. Noone referred to as. So I attempted their “Name me” choice another time. This time, to my marvel, it permitted my request. Twenty mins later, I gained a decision from KDP tech fortify. Curiously, one minute later, whilst at the telephone with KDP tech fortify, I gained some other name – additionally from KDP tech fortify. No longer short of to chance my first name losing, I not noted the second one incoming KDP name. I went into nice element describing my problems. Then I requested Agent Maria, “Maria, do you already know my scenario?”

Agent Maria didn’t reply. I repeated my query – 4 extra instances. No answer – until you imagine the dial tone that adopted to be Maria’s answer. The decision were given dropped. Crap! I noticed that there was once some other electronic mail from KDP tech fortify. It mentioned that they had simply attempted to name me however I had failed to select up.

I went again to the KDP website online’s CONTACT US web page. After I attempted to request but some other name again, yup, you guessed it: “Our information point out that you’ve got already asked a decision again. Please wait till you obtain that decision.

It went on like this for some other hour. After all, I gained some other name from KDP tech fortify. This time the decision didn’t drop. This time I used to be in reality in a position to provide all my inquiries to a real are living individual. After describing my issues in laborious element for 10 mins, tech fortify Agent Thomas paused and defined: “I’m in first degree tech fortify. I will be able to’t allow you to together with your problems. You’ll wish to communicate to any individual in Senior Stage tech fortify. Do you want me to switch you?”

“Positive,” I mentioned. “I’ll be maximum curious to look what rabbit hollow this sends me down,” I muttered beneath my breath. Agent Thomas put me on cling. Ten mins later any individual got here again at the line: “That is Thomas once more. Would you continue to love to proceed to attend to talk to a Senior Stage fortify agent?”

“Um, sure, I might. Thanks.”

“Ok, please cling.” The following sound I heard was once the soothing, acquainted melody of … of some other dial tone. My name were dropped. Once more. It’s now been over 5 hours. I’m nonetheless ready to speak to any individual about my problems. I’m positive they’ll be calling me again… any second now.

For extra of Tim Jones’ humor move HERE

Take a look at Tim Jones’ new YouTube channel, View from the Bleachers.



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